Attachment is a word which used to show the longing of two people. However, Modern time reflects pain behind the word “Attachment.” In this blog Post I will express my thoughts on “How to Overcome Anxious Attachment” I will also share my experience with my secret practices as well.
Attachment is an invisible bond between two people that sometimes becomes necessary to cut off. There are various types of attachment however, if I have to sum up in only two words, I will say it’s all about an emotional bond.
In this article, let’s dive deeper into Anxious attachment and see how it develops, creates pain, anxiety, and what some of the effective ways are to let go of this attachment with small efforts.
Let’s break down the answer to “How to Overcome Anxious Attachment” in a few parts which will give you deeper clarity. Along with clarity, you will be able to let go of it.
Effective Steps to Overcome Anxious Attachment
1- Understanding What Anxious Attachment Really Is?
Psychology suggests that anxious attachment is one of the most common attachments in humans. I have to explain it in simple words, Anxious attachment is an emotional state where you start with small expectations that grow into insecurity over a long time.
For a longer time, I was unable to understand my own emotions towards my loved ones until I found this term “Anxious Attachment.” Anxious attachment style is rooted in childhood experiences where we feel insecure about loose loved ones. Unknowingly this behavioural pattern gets stronger and grows as anxiety in adulthood.
Here are some of the major Sings of Anxious Attachments in Adults.
Signs of Anxious Attachment in Adults
- Constant need for reassurance becomes a habit of the person who experiences anxious attachment. As anxiety or such emotions grow the more you feed it or the more you find yourself ignored or receive less attention from your loved ones.
- Fear of abandonment. In such an emotional state the person has a deep fear of being left alone. In order to hide this feeling they pour required care towards others but neglect their own needs.
- While you are looking for an answer to “How to Overcome Anxious Attachment” clinginess can be a stronger behaviour. That needs to be let go. Person always try to hold on due to their own poor emotional state within.
- People who experience anxious attachment find it difficult to live without the other person. Even an hour’s distance feels like days so they keep texting and worrying about the other person. Sometimes, they leave their own tasks behind and make excuses to stay around the other person.
- One of the visible signs of anxious attachment is feeling left alone, in pain, and anxious when they feel neglected or pulled away.
Recognizing these behavioral patterns and accepting them wholeheartedly is the first step toward healing and freedom.
2- Identify Your Triggers
The second step or answer to “How to Overcome Anxious Attachment” is to recognise the triggers. Such anxiety never comes without warning, if you observe closely.
It’s crucial to ask yourself questions such as When did you feel most insecure”” Is it when the person took a long time to reply or when they didn’t reply to my I love you.”
Once you find the trigger, start journaling your emotions as this is what helped me to pour my anxious thoughts and emotions on paper. Do it every time you feel emotionally down or start showing signs.
This simple activity will help you regain your power and feel free from anxious attachment.
3- Reparenting the Inner Child
Reparenting your inner child is How to Overcome Anxious Attachment as an adult. Believe it or not, we all are carrying baggage or some of the negative impressions from childhood.
When I started healing my anxiousness, the first thing I realized was to heal my inner child and treat myself exactly the way I wanted it. Provide all the needs that your younger self needed and you will feel different instantly.
Talk to yourself, express and work on all the pain, insecurity, and fear you had back then, and assure yourself that you will always be there. Once you convince that scared child, you will strengthen your core and heal your DNA to feel secure for the rest of your life.
Sit with your inner child at least three to four times a day to heal faster and give all the love and affection you needed or still crave for.
Also Read More about 10 Spiritual Disciplines to Strengthen Your Inner Self.
4- Set Boundaries With Yourself
When it comes to eliminating negative emotions from your system, boundaries are a must. For yourself and for others as well. The root cause of anxious attachment is overthinking and people-pleasing behavior.
Therefore, start with giving yourself priority and do the things that involve, you and only you. Stop texting them much, instead when emotions arise, do some activity such as play with your pet, spend time with plants, and let the emotions go away.
Stop analyzing their behavior, decoding their texts, and put a full stop to chasing them. Give space to them, let them feel your absence and value of you.
Focus on grooming yourself, loving yourself, and fulfilling all the needs of you, alone independently.
5- Practice Secure Behaviors
Every emotion grows with every time we practice it. Therefore, practice secure behaviors, even if you have to fake it. Secure behaviours such as telling your needs in clear words, listening to them without judgement or conclusions.
Allow them to spend their time their own way without thinking negatively. Instead, take advantage of the time and do the things you might like, even if it’s for the first time.
With each secure behavior, you reprogram your mind, your system to feel free from anxiety and safe. This is how to Overcome Anxious Attachment effectively as an adult.
Also Read More about 7 Warning Signs from The Universe
6- Choose Partners With Secure Traits
The greatest fear one holds in relations is with their partners. Therefore it’s crucial to choose the right partner to send your life with. Some of the personality traits you must observe before getting involved.
Do not go for outer personality but look for a person who is good for your overall well-being. See if the person is emotionally available, Consistent, Communicative, and able to listen to you without any judgment.
Being with the right person is the easiest way and answer to how to Overcome Anxious Attachment as an adult. Such personal might give you a boring feeling in the beginning but for the rest of your life, you will feel safe with them.
Final Words: Overcoming anxious attachment will not be easy but it will develop a better you within yourself. It has done the same with me as it helped me know myself better and reconnect to my stronger self during the process.
Along the journey to you will meet amazing people. See amazing places and know amazing things that will give a bigger perspective on your existence.
If you found this blog post guiding, informative, and useful, do like to comment and share your experience with me in the comment box. Your comment will help build a community to offer belonging to those who are suffering.
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Stay Healthy, Stay Blessed.
