Last updated on November 19th, 2024 at 01:48 am
How to Let Go of Someone Who Hurt You | Ways to Let Go Someone Who Hurt You | why cant I let go of someone who hurt me | how to emotionally let go of someone you love
Holding onto something, people or events never serves any good. Yet, It is super hard to get rid of such painful things easily. Why? Are they meant to stay forever? Why can’t I let go of those who keep hurting me?
Why is it so hard to let go of someone who hurt you? How to let go of those who don’t want to stay with you? Most importantly, how to let go of the anger towards someone who hurt you? All of the questions flooded my way when I took one on one sessions.
Is it easy to let go or is it by default to hold on past events? Well, there are many factors, which I am sure you will agree with, that don’t allow you to let go, until you understand the concept. In this article, I will share all those deep Karmic returns which affect our present painfully.
Before I answer you “How to Let Go of Someone Who Hurt You”, allow me to give some insight why it hurts?
Why Do Relationship Hurt?
If I have to explain the emotion “Hurt” or “Pain” in simple words then Hurt is the outcome of unfulfilled expectations. When you get close to someone, in any relationship, expectations arise. In the beginning it’s exciting to fill others’ expectations.
The more time passes, the more expectations get fulfilled, the more it grows. Expectations are human emotions which, if fulfilled, grow with time. If you don’t rethink and control your emotions, it keeps growing until it makes the other person feel a burden.
Let me clear it first, I am not talking about any material desires or expectations. Expectations such as you didn’t send me Good Morning, or you slept without sending me Good morning text. You don’t feel excited to meet me like you used to be and so on.
These simple, small expectations start changing with time, priority changes and it starts hurting. Expectations are the root cause, However, As I said, there are many factors which make relationships hurt and you find it challenging to let them go.
Now, Before I share tips and answers to “How to Let Go of Someone Who Hurt You” allow me to share some other factors which make leaving a person hard.
Also Read about How to Protect Yourself From Toxic Person.
Why is it So Hard to Let Go of Someone Who Hurt You?
Letting go of those who hurt you or keep hurting you become challenging because of many reasons. Let’s understand those reasons, so that you will easily process yourself. Understanding these facts will help you let them go easily.
How to Let Go of Someone Who Hurt You
1- Emotional Attachment
First and foremost reason behind pain is attachment. When you connect to other human beings, you develop a level of understanding which leads to attachment. Attachment is also the outcome of emotional connection with the person.
When you connect someone emotionally a thread from your spirit gets attached to another person. The emotional threads are so usually very strong and it doesn’t get easily disconnected. The stronger attachment the harder to break it.
Attachment often gets stronger with time so if you have been with the person for a long time, accept that it will take time to move on.
2- Fear of The Unknown
The other reason behind not letting the person go who has hurt you is the fear of stepping into the unknown. When you decide to connect to someone emotionally, spend a lot of time with them, it’s scary to leave them.
Being in a relationship and getting emotionally involved means you don’t expect conflicts and want to live together. If, for some reason, the relationship doesn’t work, it’s unexpected. Worrying about unpredictable life and the future is scary, especially the fear of loneliness.
The feeling of loneliness does not allow a person to let their love one go away, even if they keep hurting.
Also Read about How to Rebuild Trust in a Relationship after Cheating.
3- The Hope for Reconciliation
While looking for an answer to “How to Let Go of Someone Who Hurt You” check your soul once, if it really wants to let go or not? When you spend your life, your time, your emotions and share your dreams with someone, you get strongly attached.
Sharing everything with someone means you become sure to fulfill the dreams together for the rest of life. When things go in the wrong direction and you start getting hurt, it’s unacceptable. Often there is a hope within the heart who keeps saying, it’s temporary.
The hope of reconciliation is another reason you feel challenged to let the person go who hurt you or doesn’t want to live with you.
4- Sense of failure
One of the worst reasons behind not letting the person go is if you lose faith in yourself. The blame game, especially blaming yourself and trying to find your mistake is the worst thing you can do in such a situation.
When your relationship ends, you think you are not worthy of good people and you won’t find someone else in future. This thought makes you so weak inside that you don’t think of letting go of the person who hurt you.
For the worst, you might think that you wasted your life, emotions, money and time with the person. Blame game, either it’s you or the other person is one of the reasons people hold onto the past. Not to mention, such thoughts make the situation more painful.
5- Loss of identity
In many cases, the relationship seems so strong that you take one step into the future and make it public. Be it marriage or living in a relationship, when it hurts, you are afraid of losing the identity and keep trying to make it work.
You build your life around that person, and it feels painful to end. You struggle to think about yourself alone in the future which scares you. You find it hard to accept the absence of the person from your life.
Before jumping to the answer to “How to Let Go of Someone Who Hurt You” rethink and see if you are truly over and want to move on. Make sure you look for the facts. Not only yours, one sided emotions.
Those were the most common reasons people find it hard to detach themself and let other people go. Either the relationship is not working or the person doesn’t want to live with you, you must accept the fact and act accordingly.
If you are struggling to overcome it, Here is the answer to your query “How to Let Go of Someone Who Hurt You”. These tips will surely help you move and be happy with yourself.
How to Let Go of Someone Who Hurt You?
First and foremost let me remind you, it won’t happen in a day or a week. Letting go of things and person is a slow process and it will take time. However, these tips will help you heal yourself without getting hurt anymore.
1- Acknowledge Your Feelings
Let me ask you to do a favor to yourself “Do not run away from your genuine emotions”. You are hurt because you truly and genuinely loved someone. If someone hurts you, it’s their Karma, you don’t hurt yourself thinking about them.
Accept the truth that you loved, cared and dedicated yourself to someone, which is your strength. Now, when things don’t work out and the other person wants to move on, it’s not your fault.
First and foremost answer to your search “How to Let Go of Someone Who Hurt You” is accept everything you are feeling within you. Just, accept, without any judgment, your feelings are your inner strength.
2- Identify the Lessons Learned
Every experience we go through in life, has a secret lesson for us. Even a breakup has something to teach us, if we pay attention. Until you find the lesson, it will keep hurting you so sit in silence and find the teaching.
Reflect upon your actions and its outcome, identify everything that added color to your life and which inspire you to do something different. Let this experience, heart break not destroy your future but create a different and better version of you.
When you are looking for an answer to How to Let Go of Someone Who Hurt You, remember to find a reason to move on. The reason must be something that boosts your confidence, increase your self worth. Let your worst experience teach you the best lesson you ever learned.
Also Read about What is The Key to True Happiness.
3- Practice Forgiveness Regularly
Forgiveness is an act which, in a long time, enhances your spiritual power. It’s not easy to think good for those who damage your emotions but that’s what it takes to grow. Right? Make a habit to be in silence, alone and pray for those who hurt your emotions in anyways.
When you forgive, you allow your inner source of spirit to heal the wound and make you feel better. First thing in the morning and last before bed is the last day to pray and forgive yourself and others as well.
It helps release the stored pain, letting go of negative thoughts and emotions which is unhealthy for your future journey. Some people keep asking me “how to let go of anger for those who hurt you” forgive them.
Forgiveness also helps you stay calm and eliminate anger from your system. The most important thing, remember you are forgiving because it’s unhealthy for you not for other people. Therefore, forgiveness is one of the most effective answers to How to Let Go of Someone Who Hurt You.
4- Focus on Self-Care
In order to let go of the past, or person, it’s crucial to focus on the present, knowing that the past is gone. Yes, you were attached, yes you invested your emotions, yes you gave hundred percent, but now it’s not serving any good to you.
Remind yourself that you invested your time, emotions in a relationship which didn’t work out, now you need to take care of yourself. The relationship is gone, don’t hold it but you are still there who is hurting.
It’s time to love, care and focus on your inner self who is depressed, hurt and low in life. Talk to your heart, love it, care for it, do the things that make it happy. Taking care of yourself is crucial at this point, you can afford to hurt yourself foursome who don’t even care for you now.
Self care is another powerful and effective answer to How to Let Go of Someone Who Hurt You. Take care of your emotional, mental, physical and psychological health because no one is going to do it for you. Don’t let someone temporarily take away your lifetime happiness and peace.
5- Surround Yourself with Support
Be with someone who is good for your mental and emotional health. Avoid being alone when you are hurting inside and feeling negative emotions. There is no shame in moving on and sharing your emotions with those who understand you.
Friends are those powerful medicines who can heal any wound, especially breakups. Meeting with your friends doesn’t mean you keep talking about the past, but be with them, enjoy life and do the things that uplift your mood.
Friends and family are the best therapist when it comes to healing the inner self.
6- Let The Past Be There
Even though yesterday is gone, thinking and talking about it is stupid who wastes your time, energy and your emotions. I believe, good or bad, the past is the past and we must let them be there and keep moving forward. Yes, learn the lesson and apply that in the present for good.
Make a note not to talk about your relationship, the person, various events and hurt yourself. Once in a while when it’s overflowing, do it but make sure to not make it a regular habit. Such habits will not allow you to move and let them go.
Allowing your past to be in the past is another effective answer to your question “How to Let Go of Someone Who Hurt You”.
1- Why can’t I let go of someone who hurt me?
We humans are a social creature, we crave love care, and attention. When something or someone gets used to something, it becomes normal to get an attachment.
Attachment with other humans is the hardest thing to let go of as they both connect on an emotional level. The memories of the person are hard to let go but when you learn to heal the empty core of you, it’s easy to let them go.
2- What is Emophilia?
If you are in a pattern where you step up and do everything to nurture your relationship but in the end, you fail, it’s called Emophilia.
Emopholia, Emotional Promiscuity, is the tendency to fall in love but fail to make it successful.
In other, it’s a behavioral tendency to fall in love quickly, often, and easily.
Final Words: Relationships are beautiful if we don’t mix too much expectations and dependency upon the other person. Yes, its human tendency to expect from the person you love or live with. However, experiencing the painful outcome must be a lesson for us.
In order to maintain the balance, it’s crucial to take care of yourself and engage yourself as you are an individual and need to have your own identity. Remember, never lose your identity in loving and caring for someone.
I hope this article helps you and gives you enough wisdom and strength to let them go who doesn’t want to live with you. If you find this article helpful and guiding, do like, comment and share it with someone who might need help in moving on.
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